A list of words that trigger Post Traumatic Election Stress Disorder

Journalists haven’t yet finished their autopsy on the 2016 election, but they’re already handicapping 2018 and 2020 — who will run? Who will win? It’s enough to make you understand why millennials want “trigger warnings.” To defend America from Post Traumatic Election Stress Disorder, let’s call a moratorium on the […] Read more »

Real News Goes Viral

Arctic sea ice goes missing! … Governments use this one weird trick to stifle dissent … You’re gonna die! — eventually, but possibly sooner without health care … CONT. Brian McFadden, The Strip, New York Times Read more »

Most say only turkeys will talk politics at the table

Americans say that this Thanksgiving they are most thankful for their family, but they really hope that Aunt Ann won’t ask about politics as she passes the mashed potatoes. A new CNN/ORC poll finds that 53% of Americans say they dread the thought of talking politics over Thanksgiving dinner on […] Read more »

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race. CONT. The Onion Read more »

Welcome to Nate Silver’s Haunted House

Welcome to Nate Silver’s Haunted House, where mind-bending terror meets data and statistics! That’s right: even at the height of the Presidential election, we here at FiveThirtyEight still find the time to operate our very own haunted house. … Cast your eyes over yonder: there’s an online-only poll with a […] Read more »

Trump surges ahead of Clinton in poll conducted by his brain

Donald Trump has surged ahead of Hillary Clinton in a new poll conducted by Trump’s brain. … According to Trump’s brain, the poll has no margin of error, absolutely none, it’s a tremendous poll, you just can’t believe how great this poll is. CONT. Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker Read more »