In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race. CONT. The Onion Read more »

Saying they were forced to use lethal force after the statistician and FiveThirtyEight founder attempted to breach a secure checkpoint, United States Border Patrol agents confirmed Friday that Nate Silver was gunned down while trying to cross into Mexico with all the polling data from the 2016 general election. CONT. […] Read more »

According to a report released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, Election Day 2016 will, for the majority of Americans, mark the only time this year they will occupy the same room as a person who supports a different presidential candidate. CONT. The Onion Read more »

Welcome to Nate Silver’s Haunted House, where mind-bending terror meets data and statistics! That’s right: even at the height of the Presidential election, we here at FiveThirtyEight still find the time to operate our very own haunted house. … Cast your eyes over yonder: there’s an online-only poll with a […] Read more »

Saying that at this point, they were just taking their best guesses at how they should react to each new scandal that emerged about the presidential nominees, voters across the country admitted Monday they had no clue how outraged they are supposed to be about anything anymore. CONT. The Onion Read more »

Donald Trump has surged ahead of Hillary Clinton in a new poll conducted by Trump’s brain. … According to Trump’s brain, the poll has no margin of error, absolutely none, it’s a tremendous poll, you just can’t believe how great this poll is. CONT. Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker Read more »