… Each Winter Olympics, which also take place every four years, the watching world suddenly becomes obsessed with (and self-declared experts in) an event they know almost nothing about. While luge neophytes confidently discuss body position and exit steering in the chute, in Iowa part-time politicos show off by citing […] Read more »
Poll Finds 68% Of Iowans Turned On By Knowledge Whole Nation Watching
With national media attention ramping up in preparation for next week’s Iowa caucuses, a poll released Monday by Drake University found that two-thirds of Iowans are turned on by the knowledge the whole country is watching them. CONT. The Onion Read more »
Poll: Republicans Would Rather Actually Be Shot by Gun Than Agree with Obama
A day after President Obama held a nationally televised town hall about guns in America, a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans would rather actually be shot by a firearm than agree with him. CONT. Andy Borowitz, Borowitz Report Read more »
Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Candidate Most Americans Want To Have 8-Ounce Glass Of Tap Water With
According to a Pew Research Center poll released Tuesday, the majority of registered voters in the U.S. chose Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton as the candidate they would most like to have an 8-ounce glass of tap water with. CONT. The Onion Read more »
Pack Your 2016 Election Survival Kit
… Electoral College Security Blanket: Lulls anxious voters to sleep by attempting to explain our arcane presidential election process. CONT. Brian McFadden, The Strip, New York Times Read more »
The Consumer Product Safety Commission’s Holiday Gift Warnings
Speaker Paul Ryan Tea Party Warning: Product occasionally works with Democrats. CONT. Brian McFadden, The Strip, New York Times Read more »