In an effort to counter the real estate magnate’s rapidly growing lead in the delegate count, GOP statisticians announced Wednesday they had successfully developed an entirely new branch of mathematics for formulating scenarios in which Donald Trump does not win the Republican Party’s presidential nomination. CONT. The Onion Read more »

Saying the forecast method had an extremely high degree of accuracy, political statistician Nate Silver announced Monday he had projected the results of Super Tuesday’s presidential primary elections using a microscopic U.S. electorate he had grown in a petri dish. CONT. The Onion Read more »

Adding a new wrinkle in an already unpredictable election year, Donald Trump saw his poll numbers plummet on Monday after receiving a surprise endorsement from President Barack Obama. CONT. Borowitz Report Read more »

Marge wakes up from a political nightmare.   Read more »

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates: … Donald Trump: After finishing lower than polls predicted in Iowa, Trump needs a strong win in New Hampshire to prove that mathematics is […] Read more »

In a feat that some observers called nothing short of miraculous, the embattled pharmaceuticals C.E.O. Martin Shkreli single-handedly made the American people side with Congress on Thursday morning. According to polls taken after his appearance before the despised legislative body, Shkreli’s smug, smirking, and utterly douchey performance had the effect […] Read more »