Study Reveals 93% Of Americans Don’t Know Their Congressperson Truly, Utterly, The Way Only Two Souls Entwined Can

Saying representatives and senators alike must find time to usher their constituents out of their lonely, dark isolation with the guiding light of an elected official’s love, a study released Thursday by Stanford University revealed that 93 percent of Americans don’t truly know their congressperson, not utterly, not in the way only two souls entwined can be known to one another. CONT.

The Onion